Do you ever think about the reasons behind the things that happen in your life? Perhaps you were devastated of a recent job loss, only to find a better position opened at another company. Or, maybe you overslept one morning and couldn’t leave for work on time. But, you were able to answer an urgent phone call before you hurriedly walked out your door. Did you ever leave your driveway, but returned because of something you’d forgotten only to find you never locked the front door, or unplugged the curling iron, or let the dog in from the backyard? Could it be coincidences when situations such as these occur? Some may think so, but many would disagree. I tend to side with the idea that all things in life happen for a reason…that there is a bigger plan, a lesson to be learned when things do not happen as expected. When something for me does not take place as planned, I make a conscious effort to uncover the reason behind the sometimes disappointing turn of events. Most often, what comes next will put everything in perspective.
Words Are Powerful To Children
How we speak to our children has everything to do with their sense of worth as they become teenagers, and then adults. Children absorb the words of their trusted parents like a sponge, implanting the positive as well as the negative in the archives of their minds. In order to instill positivity in a child, a parent must make a conscious effort to always think before speaking. For instance, before telling your child “If you weren’t so lazy, you would have gotten a better grade”, try telling the child “It looks like there are some things you don’t understand. Perhaps I can help”. Words heard from a parent, a child’s most trusted individual in their young life will make or break his or her self confidence. If a mom or dad tells little Bobby that he will never be as smart as older sister, Susie, it is quite probable that Bobby will still remember and believe those words for years to come. Continuous criticism has only one outcome, a child with low self-esteem.Find the good in the small stuff. If a child does something which may seem as insignificant as remembering to cover the toothpaste tube, take the opportunity to offer positive words of praise. Ask a child how they feel about a particular current event which comes up in a family conversation. Tell that child you have an interest in how they feel about that event. The fact that there is an interest in what the child is thinking will give them a worthy sense of importance and value. If there are positive role models in the home, a child or teen will be better able to handle any negative interference outside the family circle.
Following Your Instincts
Researchers have proven that your instincts should never be taken for granted. According to studies of the University College London, over thinking a situation will most often lead to imprecise outcomes. With confidence in believing your intuitive inner voice, your instincts will guide you to appropriate resolutions for any situation.
Has your body ever warned you of something that just doesn’t seem right? Your feelings of danger may affect your breathing, or your heart palpitates while your pulse rate increases. Most often by instinct, a mother will know their child is in danger before an unfortunate event will even take place. A mother usually knows when their child is being untruthful.Get in tuned with your intuitions. Keep close attention to your sixth sense to better trust your inner voice and body language. The next time you are introduced to a new acquaintance, pay close attention to your intuitive signs. You will either have an immediate feeling of warmth and comfort, or your skin may ripple in a chill by someone less trustworthy. Challenge that first instinct by getting to know the new acquaintance to further prove your instincts are of value. Make note of your first feelings of any situation. Follow through to an actual outcome and how close your intuition relates to that conclusion. Eventually, your instinctive attributes will become your most reliable sense.
The Family Dinner…It’s Important!
Today’s family lifestyles of longer work hours for moms and dads and excessive afterschool activities for children have given way to the drive-thru meals eaten in the car between one place and another. Significant conversation is minimal while eye contact is nil as many continue to live their lives on the go. The mandatory dinner presence so many of us experienced from our own childhood remains only a memory and rarely practiced as part of contemporary lifestyles.
Is the family dinner time old fashioned? Personally, I tend to think not. My eldest of four sons is away at grad school. Two other boys attend a local college and my youngest is in eighth grade. Needless to say, suppers quite often include only three out of the six of us. However, since my boys have grown up in a household where everyone was sitting at the kitchen table by 6pm when they were younger, they have come to value such gatherings when the opportunity comes about now that they are older and not around as much. In fact, there is an obvious contentment when we manage such a family dinner. It feels right, feels like home. As they anxiously dig into whatever the chow may be, someone will always comment, “Hey, we’re all together,” which brings a profound smile of acknowledgment by all before conversation is in full gear as everyone catches up with each other.
Finding time to eat as a family after chasing to dance class or basketball practice after school gives the family a chance to slow down and take a breather from a hectic afternoon. Consistent family dinnertimes will create a routine for children. Such stability is important for kids. Whether it is hot dogs, pizza, or filet mignon being served, the food on the table has no importance in comparison to the shared conversation about the school day, friends, work, etc. At the same time, an interest and concern for other family members is naturally developed. We all wish our children to grow up with good family memories and values which can be passed down to their own children. And, it is the good memories which will turn a house into a home.
More about positive thinking….
There has been plenty of recent buzz about positive thinking and the power such thoughts have in reaching our goals and fulfilling our dreams. Whether it be to land that new job, lose those extra pounds, avoid catching that flu bug, or even to meet the love of your life, I believe that thinking positive plays a great role in attracting whatever goals suit our needs.
Upon reading several articles and listening to audio CD’s on this very subject, I have learned that it is the fear of failing and lack of confidence which may deter one from believing his or her positive thoughts can affect their accomplishments. I have also learned that one can learn to resist such negativity by habitually blocking pessimistic thoughts from entering their mind. If this practice of resistance is continuously put into action from day to day, the positive attitude with surpass all feelings of failure.
Various studies have shown, including such studies at John Hopkins, that people with an optimistic attitude on life and health produce lower levels of the very hormones which add to stress to our physical beings. In turn, disease rates are decreased for individuals with such approaches to their daily lives.
So, if the 10 o’clock news says the flu season is here, don’t run to the nearest drug store to stock up on every cold and flu medication. Try putting such news into your mind that the flu season will never affect you. If you go on a job interview, approach your interview as if you already landed the position. If you are writing a novel, write that book as if it has already been accepted by a publisher. Keep your thoughts on a positive level. Success, good health, and happiness could only follow!
Keep a Positive Attitude! It will Do You Good.
Is there someone in your life who relentlessly depletes others of their positive energy? Their negativity about every situation forces your own sunny attitude to fade away?
Life, as we all know, is short with only one chance at living it the best way we can. It takes one negative individual to succeed in draining us of the positive way we choose to live. This pessimistic person will find fault with everyone and everything while looking for excuses to conceal their own imperfections.
One of my favorite quotes is found in Joel Osteen’s book, Become a Better You. “You cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life.” If involvement with such downbeat individuals is unavoidable because of a job or a mutual circle of friends, be sympathetic to whatever it is that is getting them down without getting caught up in their misery. Offer a kind word or two of encouragement and move on before you are spooled onto their road of gloom and doom.
If you happen to live with someone who chooses to find fault with everything, use your utmost strength to continue in a positive manner. Perhaps there are creative ways of making that family member realize everything isn’t always so bad and could be worse. Eventually, your optimistic attitude may become infectious to their mind-set.
Since we only have one chance at life, we should get the most out of it in the best, positive way possible. If there is someone tempting to bring you down, be strong with a smile. Your positive outlook will prevail
FRESH BEGINNINGS
FRESH BEGINNINGS by Donna Marie is now available as a Kindle download. This is a romantic short story about Rick and Jenna, who after two years of closely working together in Rick’s budding career in law, find a new appreciation for each other while working on a particular case. For two years, Jenna continuously repressed any romantic feeling she had for her employer. Although Rick recognized her beauty and sincerity, never did he let their working relationship evolve to anything more. Once his emotional side is forced to emerge when small children become the center of his court case, everything could change for Rick and Jenna. After watching each other go in and out of other relationships for so long, Rick and Jenna need to find a way of admitting their new feelings for each other.
LOVE FOR ANGELA
LOVE FOR ANGELA by Donna Marie is now available as a Kindle download. This is an old fashion love story with a modern flare of tender intimacy.
LOVE FOR ANGELA is a romance book about a young woman emerging from a somewhat sheltered life with her parents, Dominic and Lucille Varelli, owners of the Varelli Café. Angela’s shy manor and lack of confidence hinders her love life. However, Vince, a café customer mesmerized by Angela’s innocent beauty, transparently perceives the desirable woman through the guarded façade of a bashful girl, surfacing Angela’s repressed desire for love. When Angela is faced with tragedy, she acquires new strength to overcome many obstacles. Her virtuous nature becomes compromised as her affection for Vince magnifies to a new level of passion.
Reviews
“I fell in love with these characters from the first moment I met them. I recommend Love for Angela for anyone who is looking for a good book to curl up with.” Nicole Getridge, Author
“LOVE FOR ANGELA is a fun, romantic read that proves to be a worthy debut for this author.”
Tracy Farnsworth, Roundtable Reviews
The Love of a Dog
After thirty years of marriage and four kids later, my husband and I finally added a pet to our home. Well, we allowed the kids a couple of hamsters over the years, and a gold fish or two as well. But, when it came down to adding a four legged, barking creature to our already busy household of all boys, the idea of having a pet that wasn’t caged or swimming in a bowl of water was something we totally avoided. Although there was much begging for a puppy from the kids over the years, it seemed that adding a dog to the mix would put us over the edge of family havoc. And, truth be told, my husband was a hard nut to crack on the subject. With surprise to all of us, I managed to crush that nutshell to smithereens when we brought Bella home three years ago. Might I add, the husband that never wanted a dog just can’t get enough of our little Maltipoo, Bella. They are the best of friends. Now that we finally have this additional family member, I realize the contentment and joy a pet brings to a home. A day never goes by without laughter over something or other our very active Bella has done. This, alone, triggers my interest in the positive benefits a pet will bring to those needing their spirits lifted.
With some research, I have learned that an animal will not only bring a smile to one’s face, it has been proven that physical and emotional health is enhanced by the interaction with an animal. As a matter of fact, blood pressure is actually lowered for pet owners, reducing the risk of heart disease. Motor skills, balance, and speech are improved when in the presence of a pet. Overall emotional health is enhanced socially, mentally, and psychologically. Never did this cross my mind when my boys were young, but children learn to be nurturing when caring for a dog. They learn responsibility while their self esteem soars.
Autistic children have been encouraged to speak when an animal is involved in therapy. In fact, more and more schools and facilities across the country are including dogs in their therapy programs, acquainting the special needs child with socialization and mental stimulation as the pet provides love and attention without judgments or expectations.
Our precious pets are never prejudice of age. Research has proven that the elderly especially benefit from animal interaction. A pet will ease the feeling of fear and loneliness, lessen the sadness of a newly widowed man or woman, and encourage more movement to that individual which will add even the slightest bit of exercise to their daily activity. As studies have proven, elderly folks have fewer trips to the doctor when a dog is part of the household. There is generally less anxiety, physical and emotional pain, and lack of boredom when in the company of a family pet. Short and long term memories are also improved. A man or woman filled with fear and loneliness will be eased of uncertainties when that special dog is present to touch their hearts.
Pets are commonly allowed into convalescent centers, correctional facilities, day care centers, and even hospitals because of the positive effect they bring to anyone suffering emotionally or physically. Whether a dog visits an elderly widow sitting alone in her room at a nursing home, a cancer patient receiving hospice care, or an abused child rescued from a dysfunctional home, the end result is the unconditional love being shared with those in need. The home healthcare company where I work includes a pet therapy program, bringing unconditional love and happiness to those physically suffering, or perhaps nearing their end of life. In fact, there are several hospice organizations across the country which includes pet therapy for patients who are gravely ill. A ray of sunshine will be added to the day of a terminal patient who may be otherwise sad and withdrawn. For the proven studies of how an animal positively affects those with various levels of need, the power of pets should never be underestimated as the unique therapy given by these animals cannot be replaced with anything that comes in a prescription bottle.
I’m a Mom. What’s Next?
The role of a mother is the most important and rewarding position a woman can possibly experience when blessed to have children in her life. In fact, a mother’s heart is immediately consumed with the love she has for her children before they are even born. From that time, she has signed up for a commitment to continue nearly two decades and more of continuous love and concern of their child’s wellbeing. And in reality, a mother never really stops worrying about her children, even when they are grown to be parents themselves. A woman’s personal goals are often put on hold for years of her children’s school activities, homework projects, dance lessons, little league games, soccer practice, and more. While she is consumed with raising her children to be the most successful and respectful adults they can be, a mother gets lost in the bedlam of everyday life. Her personal dreams outside of motherhood are simmering on a backburner for a later day in time which sometimes never comes to pass. Unfortunately, a mom often gets caught up in the chaos of raising children until the little darlings are off to college and empty nesting forces her to think about what she wants to be when she grows up. Sure enough, this is the anecdote of many women who have crossed my life’s path.
Although it is never too late to follow a dream, even after the kids are grown and gone, it is not iniquitous for a mother to incorporate her personal goals in the midst of raising her children. It wasn’t until after my fourth son was born that I realized it was possible to at least mull over what would make me feel personally fulfilled outside of being a mother. Perhaps the reason behind my sudden need for self discovery was due to the fact that I was the only female in a home of five males, getting caught up in all the little boys activities such as Star Wars reenactment, water gun fights, and turning my home into a Ninja Turtle warzone. I’ve loved every minute of raising four sons, and would give my own life for my boys. There is nothing more important to me than my family. Even so, while getting caught up in the routine of it all, something made me think about where my life was going and if there was something else besides motherhood that I was meant to do in my lifetime.
At the time of my there’s more purpose for my life revelation, I knew that I had much more to offer others as I lived my life as a loving wife and mother. With the total support of my darling husband, I decided to begin seeking my self-awareness by taking some classes at a local college which included a curriculum of various courses in healthcare. I thought, perhaps, that this was a good field to work in and around the boys’ schedules. As a matter of fact, those basic classes helped me secure a part-time night shift job as a Unit Coordinator at a local hospital. While gaining experience dealing with patients, doctors, and nurses, working at a hospital gave me the self-realization and confidence that I had so much more to offer above and beyond everything I was doing at home. Since I worked at night, I was always available for the boys during the day.
Besides the healthcare agenda, I included some English classes in my curriculum. Writing had been a buried passion of mine since I was a young teen. Taking some college creative writing classes, however, provoked my need to do more with this craft which had been dormant for years. Suddenly, writing became my new obsession. I began creating various articles, some of which were published in local newspapers. At the same time, I searched deeper for my creative juices and began writing what I thought was to be a short story romance. This short story grew and grew until it had enough of a word-count to become my first novel, Love for Angela, published in 2004. This was an amazing time for me, especially when interviewed on Marie Osmond’s radio show which she hosted at the time.
As of today, I continue to work in the healthcare field, coordinating home health care and hospice services for local patients. This has been a rewarding position of helping people in need, which was made possible by taking a few local college classes a few years prior. My writing endeavors have also continued. Not only do I maintain an additional career of freelance writing for various clients, I have also written and published my second novel, We Can Love Again. The boys are growing up; the eldest finishing grad school, two others in college, and the youngest in high school. As a mother, I know I have done my job well. Of course, the house is still hectic, but in a different way. First and foremost, I am still ‘Mom’. But, additionally, I have flourished into even more of a person of whom I hope my sons will proudly always remember.
